Our Attitude towards Life

This week’s QUOTE FOR STRESS:

“Our attitude towards life determines life’s attitude towards us.” Earl Nightingale

Earl Nightingale was a child who grew up during the Great Depression. He was hungry for knowledge and would frequent the Long Beach Public Library in California. He was searching for an answer to the question “How can a person, starting from scratch, who has no particular advantage in the world, reach the goals that he feels are important to him, and by so doing, make a major contribution to others?” Wanting to find an answer to this question is what spurred him on to become a world-wide acclaimed expert on success and how to become successful. In The Strangest Secret, Earl had found an answer to the question that had inspired him as a youth and, in turn, found a way to leave a lasting legacy for others.
The Strangest Secret is available in book form or CD from Amazon and this is how one reviewer describes The Strangest Secret (in the World): “If I was to recommend a single piece of audio for someone’s success, Earl Nightingale’s ‘The Strangest Secret in the World’ would be it. Just don’t leave it too long before you do what he suggests. Life’s too short to be wasted in unsuccessful frustration!”

Get Earl Nightingale’s The Strangest Secret at Amazon

Accepting Compliments

This week’s QUOTE FOR STRESS:

“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Mark Twain

Do you enjoy receiving a compliment? I know I do, but I didn’t always …. There are many people who just seem unable to accept compliments. When a friend or colleague compliments you on your shirt or a dress, do you tend to reply something like this “Oh, this old thing. I just pulled it on because I couldn’t find anything else to wear.” Well these might not be your exact words, but you get the gist of what I’m saying. Essentially you’re rejecting your friend’s compliment.

When someone gives you a compliment they are really giving you a gift. And the appropriate thing to do when anyone gives you a gift is to say thank you. You don’t decide whether you like the gift or not before saying thank you, do you? And you don’t return the gift to the giver if you don’t like it. So when someone gives you a compliment, just remember that this is a gift and say thank you. It really doesn’t matter whether you agree with the compliment or not. Use it is an opportunity to show love to your friend. It’s a wonderful chance to make your friend feel appreciated.

If you reject compliments enough times, they’ll stop coming your way. Mark Twain can survive for two months on a good compliment. Make a conscious effort to accept compliments when they come your way, and keep your negative thoughts to yourself! Your happiness level will start spiraling upwards!

Happiness influenced by personality, not circumstances

 

This week’s QUOTE FOR STRESS

“The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.”

These are the wise words of Martha Washington, wife of the First President of the USA who was in office from 30 April 1789 – 4 March 1797.

The life of Martha Washington makes interesting reading as she came from an era when most women were illiterate and the wealthy folk had slaves. Thank goodness, times have changed! She was wealthy in her own right and so benefitted from privileges that were denied most women. Widowed as a young mother, she then married Geroge Washington with whom she had no children. The marriage was a happy one.

Martha obviously never had access to any ‘psychology’ education. Little did she know that when she was sharing an important psychological truth when she said ‘the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances’. This belief became the backbone of Cognitive Behavior Therapy made famous in the latter part of the 20th century. This therapy is regarded as the most successful in the treatment of depression and one of the basic principals says that it is not the things that happen to you that cause depression but rather your interpretation of that event.

Click here to read more about Cognitive Behavior Therapy. This will take you to another one of my sites.

Fears can be learnt!

 

 This week’s QUOTE FOR STRESS:

“Fears are educated into us and can, if we wish, be educated out.” Karl A. Menninger

Karl Menninger (1893-1991) was one of the most distinguished psychiatrists of his time. He lobbied for better care of patients in state hospitals who were housed in very dirty conditions. On many a Saturday morning he would rally his staff together to go to the Topeka State Hospital to clean up the hospital and care for the patients. These patients had very little treatment as the hospital was understaffed. Through Menninger’s lobbying, the quality of care improved.

The statement that “fears are educated into us and can, if we wish, be educated out” is so true. So many of our fears are learnt responses that we acquire as we grow up. Parents who are anxious and fearful teach their children to be anxious and fearful. Fear and anxiety become the subconscious way in which we deal with situations.

Overcoming fear

The main factor in overcoming a fear is to recognize it and ask yourself ‘exactly what am I afraid of, what exactly do I fear?’ Free-floating anxiety is very hard to deal with, but naming the fear means that you can make a plan of overcoming the fear. Ask yourself if your fear is based in reality. Ask other people what their response would be to the situation that causes you fear.

You can educate yourself out of your fear, but education is the important word here! If you would like to know more about overcoming fear and anxiety, please click here which will take you to another site of mine with tips for overcoming anxiety.

Attitude is everything!

This week’s QUOTE FOR STRESS:

“Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.” Hans Selye

Scientist Hans Selye (1907 – 1982) developed a General Adaptation Syndrome model showing the three phases of stress and the effects on the body. According to Selye, chronic stress causes long-term chemical changes in the body and is therefore a major cause of disease.

3 PHASES OF SELYE’S GENERAL ADAPTATION SYNDROME

Alarm Stage

This is also known as the fight or flight response where stress hormones are released for immediate energy. This energy needs to be used up in physical activity so the stress hormones like cortisol, adrenaline and noradrenaline do not harm the body, particularly the heart.

Resistance Stage

As the source of stress is being sorted out, the body begins to restore its balance and starts recovering. If the stress continues the body remains in a constant state of vigilance or arousal.

If there is no time for recovery the person will proceed into the next phase.

Exhaustion Stage

All adaptation energy supply is depleted and the result is burnout, chronic anxiety and depression. The stress levels go up and stay up. This stage is dangerous to your health and can damage nerve cells and body organs. Thinking as well as memory are also affected.

The Answer?

The answer is really quite simple! We have to learn better ways of dealing with stress. With our hectic lifestyles, this is easier said than done, but for the sake of good health our responses to stress need to be re-examined. We need to change our attitudes. Stress is a known cause of depression so to overcome depression it is essential to learn how to deal with it.

“Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.” Hans Selye

The Stress of Life by Hans Selye is available from Amazon and has good online reviews.

Please register for our Free 5 Part Overcoming Depression Course which focuses on learning how to deal with stress, particularly as regards changing the way we think.

 

Perceptions trigger stress!

This week’s QUOTE FOR STRESS

“When we change our perception we gain control. The stress becomes a challenge, not a threat”. Greg Anderson

Stress is the cause of depression.  Stress is created from our perceptions, how we view a situation. When my children were younger we regularly went for hikes in the mountains. Being rather unfit, my thoughts often went along the lines of “I hope I make it to the top without having a heart attack! I wasn’t exactly sure where the rescue helicopter would land if I did.” Might sound silly, but then most of us have silly thoughts at times. It was an upward struggle and I certainly didn’t think of the view from the top. However my children and husband would just about sprint to the top, in their eagerness to look at the view from the top!

Different perceptions about the same event. I do have to admit that once at the top, I did feel very proud of myself!

If you would like to learn more about how to change your perceptions please click here to find out an easy step by step method. This change can make all the difference in enjoying life to the full.

We need each other!

This week’s QUOTE FOR STRESS

“Everything depends on you and at the same time you cannot reach the final goal by yourself.” Author Unknown

So many people prefer to do a task on their own without any outside help. ‘Nobody can do it as well as I can’, ‘better to do it myself, then at least I know it’s done properly.’ Aren’t these such common refrains especially from a perfectionist?

We start off life as babies, being totally dependent on others – we can’t walk, we can’t talk, we can only cry to get our needs met. As we grow up that changes. We want to do things on our own. We want to master the skills of living and we strive for independence, which is good. However, the next phase is interdependence, which is even better! This is the stage of accepting that we all need each other because we all have different skills and talents to get a task done. We’re all a ‘link in the chain’, so to speak! Trying to do everything totally on your own just leads to burn out!

We might have a goal in mind, but to reach that successfully, we need to allow some fellow life travelers to help us along the way! To acknowledge that we do need others is also a wonderful way of showing love to others, and meeting another person’s ‘need to be needed.’.

Antidote to Stress!

This week’s QUOTE FOR STRESS.

“There are thousands of causes for stress, and one antidote to stress is self-expression. That’s what happens to me every day. My thoughts get off my chest, down my sleeves and onto my pad”. Garson Kanin

Garson Kanin (1912 – 1999) was a prolific American writer and director of plays and films as well as an actor and comedian. He certainly knew about writing!

Writing and self-expression can be a wonderful antidote to stress. Getting your thoughts off your chest and down your sleeves and onto your pad, is a delightful description. We all know the speed with which our worrisome thoughts can race round and round in one’s head. Thoughts are slowed down when they are put onto paper and then afterwards you can always re-examine your thoughts and make an action plan for dealing with them.

Dealing with insults!

 This week’s QUOTE FOR STRESS

“A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation.” Moliere

Nobody likes to be insulted or criticized and our immediate reaction is often to throw insults back again. But this can really make matters so much worse. It can lead to open warfare, ‘guns-a-blazing!’ When we defend ourselves it is usually our self-esteem that we are defending even if what the other person is saying has some truth in it! Think about it

  • Do you agree that we all have a right to express how we feel? Tell yourself that the person insulting you is just expressing their feelings. It actually has  nothing to do with your self-esteem. Rise above the insults and listen.
  • The person is obviously upset about something. Try to find some grain of truth in what they are saying.
  • Hear the person out without defending yourself.
  • Don’t retaliate or defend yourself. Respect the person for having had the guts to actually face you with what has upset them. You can even thank them for pointing out whatever it is and that you will give it some thought.

As you respectfully listen, the person insulting you will gradually run out of steam and will probably thank you for listening to them and respect you for the manner in which you handled the matter. From personal experience, I know it works. Give it a try!

Do Not Worry!

This week’s QUOTE FOR STRESS:

“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” These are the words of Jesus as recorded in Matthew 6:27.

Anxiety achieves nothing. It certainly cannot add even a little time to our life-span and is more likely to shorten it! We do all need food and shelter so work is necessary to get these things. Even birds have to spend a lot of energy in hunting or searching for their food (verse 26). Our Heavenly Father knows what we need and has provided for our needs. However, the things we need don’t just fall from the sky, but they are here to be found.  So don’t worry, it gets you nowhere. Rather re-channel your energy into making a plan to get what you need!