This week’s Quote for Stress: “Throw out an alarming alarm clock. If the ring is loud and strident, you’re waking up to instant stress. You shouldn’t be bullied out of bed, just reminded that it’s time to start your day”. Sharon Gold
We belong to each other
This week’s QUOTE FOR STRESS: “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” Mother Teresa (26.08.1910 – 5.09.1997)
‘Mother Teresa, born Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu (pronounced [aɡˈnɛs ˈɡɔndʒa bɔjaˈdʒiu]), was an Albanian Roman Catholic nun who founded the Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta, India in 1950. For over forty years she ministered to the poor, sick, orphaned, and dying, while guiding the Missionaries of Charity’s expansion, first throughout India and then in other countries.
By the 1970s she had become internationally famed as a humanitarian and advocate for the poor and helpless, due in part to a documentary, and book, Something Beautiful for God by Malcolm Muggeridge. She won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979 and India’s highest civilian honour, the Bharat Ratna, in 1980 for her humanitarian work. Mother Teresa’s Missionaries of Charity continued to expand, and at the time of her death it was operating 610 missions in 123 countries, including hospices and homes for people with HIV/AIDS, leprosy and tuberculosis, soup kitchens, children’s and family counseling programs, orphanages, and schools.
Following her death she was beatified by Pope John Paul II and given the title Blessed Teresa of Calcutta.’ Information from www.goodreads.com
Do not be afraid or discouraged!
This week’s Quote For Stress: “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.” 2 Chronicles 20:15
King Jehoshaphat ruled Judah from 873 to 849 BC. At this time the kingdom enjoyed peace and prosperity and the blessing of God rested on the people.
However near the end of his reign the neighboring nations joined forces to make a powerful army to fight against Jehoshaphat. The king and his people were filled with alarm, and turned to God in prayer and fasting. The king prayed:
“O our God, will you not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do; but our eyes are upon you.”
Silence followed then the voice of Jahaziel the Levite was heard announcing that the next day all this great army would be overthrown.
“Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.” (2 Chronicles 20:15).
As predicted, the very next day the vast enemy army was overthrown not through the strength of Jehoshaphat’s army by by their own ‘bad’ behavior. The enemy quarreled among themselves, and killed each another. All that the people of Judah had to do was to gather up the rich spoils of the slain.
I find this story to be a great encouragement. Do you feel as Jehoshaphat did, desperate in your own situation. Maybe even praying his prayer for yourself.
“My God, I have no power to face this vast army that is attacking me. I do not know what to do; but my eyes are upon you.”
Whatever “army” or threat is coming against you remember to:
- believe in God
- trust in God
- pray to God
And remember that God answers prayer, but not always according to our agenda!
Gandhi about thoughts
This weeks quote for stress. “A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.” Mahatma Gandhi.
So if your thoughts are causing problems like low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, fear of failure and rejection it’s time to change the way you think. Without a doubt thoughts become a self-fulfilling prophecy. We make make sure they come true and we get trapped in a vicious cycle
It’s hard work to change the way we think but well worth the effort. Click here to learn more about the effects of faulty thinking and learn how to change the way you think.
Trouble is part of life!
This week’s QUOTE FOR STRESS:
“Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don’t share it, you don’t give the person who loves you enough chance to love you enough.”
Dinah Shore
How often do you hear people say “I don’t want to trouble you”, or “I don’t want to be any trouble”.
The 3 stages of Dependence:
Dependence: As we are growing up we’re dependent on others, parents etc. At that point in life we’re not conscious that we could be causing anybody ‘trouble’.
Think Terrible Two’s!
Independence: Adolescence is the time we start fighting for independence. At this stage many a parent has cried buckets of tears for the trouble their wayward teenage kids have caused them!
Interdependence: Once we’ve attained adulthood and independence, we move on to interdependence, the realization that we’re all connected and we all need each other, we are interdependent. We’re meant to share our lives with each other which means sharing our good times as well as the bad.
Romans 12:15 says “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn”.
When you share your trouble with me and make yourself more vulnerable, you are actually giving me the opportunity to truly love you more. You are doing me a favor – now that’s a different way of looking at trouble, isn’t it?
Forfeit your soul?
This week’s QUOTE FOR STRESS:
“What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?” Mark 8:36
Actually being on that treadmill to worldly success can be extremely stressful. When you think you’ve finally arrived, the goal-posts change and that striving actually never stops. This is what stress and burnout are made of.
The other day I read a book review of NW by Zadie Smith (Time Magazine September 10, 2012, page 47) which gave a ‘secular’ take on this verse. The theme of the book is about the perils of upward mobility.
“In an age of massive wealth disparity, people are increasingly defined by their wealth or lack thereof, and the gulfs between them become correspondingly massive. They’re constantly urged to climb ladders, but having climbed them they discover that they’ve left irreplaceable parts of themselves behind. As Natalie (the main character) says of a contemporary who burned out, ‘She had been asked to pass the entirety of herself through a hole that would accept only part.’ “
Natalie discovers that you can’t go from one world to another, and still be you.
“What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?” When we die, we can’t take our wealth with us. All we’ll have left is our soul so we better pay attention to our soul in this life-time!
Attitude!
This week’s QUOTE FOR STRESS
“I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
And so it is with you ...”. Charles Swindoll
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.
It is more important than the past, than station, than money,
Than circumstances, than failures, than success,
than what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.
It will make or break a company … a church … a home.
The remarkable thing is, we have a choice every day
regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past … we cannot change the fact
that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do
is play on the one string we have,
and that is our attitude …
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
And so it is with you …” – Charles Swindoll
Click here to learn more about the link between stress and depression
Are you ‘an appeaser’?
This week’s QUOTE FOR STRESS
“An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.” Winston Churchill
The definition of ‘appease’ is to pacify or placate someone by acceding to their demands.
Appeasing others is extremely stressful as you’re constantly vigilante to the other person’s spoken and unspoken demands and desires. The stress involved will get you in the end. Depression is caused by stress so if you carry on appeasing the crocodile (of depression), it will gobble you up!
Appeasing others or people pleasing is usually an attempt to find acceptance and love. Each time you fall into the trap of appeasing others, visualize yourself feeding a crocodile!
Don’t mistake a crocodile’s immobility for inactivity, because that is how it gets its meals.
For more on the effects of being an appeaser click here.
Selfless love
This week’s QUOTE FOR STRESS
“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” Anthony Robbins
I can’t live without you!!
Isn’t this so often the cry of young people newly in love. But take a moment to listen to those words – it’s all about ME. “I want you to make me feel fulfilled, to make me feel worthwhile about myself”! A relationship is more likely to last if you stop putting yourself first and rather see how you can better love your partner, what you can put into the relationship.
A relationship is like a bank account.
You can’t keep on withdrawing without making any deposits. You have to keep your bank account in the black if you want to avoid huge bank charges. Same with a relationship, make sure the emotional “bank account” is always in the black. That way you can make some “withdrawals” as you do when you’re self-centered and selfish. But make sure to put in a “whole lotta love” to keep the account healthy.You want to avoid those “huge bank overdraft charges!”
Anthony Robbins
Early in his career, Robbins learnt that “happiness and success in life are not the result of what we have, but rather of how we live. What we do with the things we have makes the biggest difference in the quality of life.” Robbins is an extremely successful “peak performance coach” and helps people “find breakthrough strategies and solutions for overcoming the problems that confront us all.”
Unsolicited Advice
This week’s QUOTE FOR STRESS
“To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn’t know what to do or that he can’t do it on his own.” John Gray
Have you been in a situation where you’re just telling a friend how you’re feeling and their reply is full of advice about what you should do. I know I have and end up thinking there’s no point in sharing my feelings to that person again because they haven’t heard me properly.
Our communication is often bad because we really have no idea how to listen properly. When someone is sharing how they feel, they are NOT looking for advice, they are looking for empathy. Empathy is reflecting back to the person how they feel. That is how we feel truly heard. Empathy is what leads to deep inner healing. Being met with ‘fix-it-up’ advice can put a wedge in the relationship.
Even if someone has negative feelings, just let them be! We’re all allowed to have negative feelings at times. Feelings are just something that exist, they are neither good nor bad, but some people just cannot resist the ‘fix-it-up’ urge!
The problem is that when someone tries to fix us up and give us unsolicited solutions, we’re effectively being told that we don’t know how to run our lives and the other person knows better! How’s that for arrogance!
Try and resist the urge to hand out unsolicited advice. If this is really difficult, at least ask the other person first if they would like your opinion. Give them the choice of saying no. Often an attentive, listening ear is all that is needed for the person to then work out their own solutions.